How dating apps tinder and bumble have turned into desi matrimonial sites india today


How dating apps Tinder and Bumble have turned into desi matrimonial sites
“I told my parents I met Shruti on Facebook. However, Shruti told her parents that we met on a dating app and they were okay with it,” Aditya says with a smile.
How dating apps Tinder and Bumble have turned into desi matrimonial sites
Ever thought you could find your life partner through a dating app? It might sound counter-intuitive, as dating apps aren't thought to lead to committed relationships. But here are some singles who got married through Tinder and Bumble and also the reason why that's happening.
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Love stories leading to marriages are increasingly being written with the swipe of a finger. (Image: Vani Gupta/India Today)
New Delhi , UPDATED: Sep 24, 2023 15:50 IST
It’s a match! And this Tinder match is made in heaven.
Move over Bharatmatrimony, Jeevansathi and Shaadi.com, because dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OkCupid are getting couples married. That’s quite counter-intuitive, as dating apps are supposed to hook one up for short-term relationships and not put one on the committed path of marriage.
Rishika and Shahwat, who connected on Bumble in 2020, clicked instantly because of similar interests and got engaged last year. They had a dreamy Bumble-themed ‘roka’ ceremony, an ode to the dating app that brought them together.
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“Since the beginning, we’ve always wanted to text each other and were smiling at our phones all day,” says Rishika. They soon moved on from the dating app and connected over the phone, and their bond grew even stronger.
It was, however, their mutual appreciation of language that brought them together. “We’re both very particular about grammar and punctuation, which sounds nerdy, but it’s something we were both really impressed by in each other,” she says.
This also reflects the changing dynamics of dating and relationships in the modern era, where love stories are increasingly being written with the swipe of a finger. The earlier “match made in heaven” is increasingly being replaced by “match made on dating apps”.
What is also heartening is that at a time when social media and devices are tearing people away, this is an unusual example of people being brought into committed relationships by online platforms.
'STIGMA ATTACHED TO DATING APPS'
Pune-based journalist Aditya and Shruti have been married for almost four years now, and thank Tinder for making that happen.
“I joined Tinder first in 2018 and then logged off. But restarted it in 2019 on a whim and met Shruti. My wife was also on dating apps on and off,” Aditya tells IndiaToday.In.
But unlike Rishika and Shahwat, it took Aditya and Shruti a while to find each other by swiping left and right.
“In terms of attempts, most connections I made fizzled out in the talking stage and rarely resulted in actual dates. It was more misses than hits before I connected with her. I think we both hit it off immediately after matching with each other,” shares Aditya.
How did a relationship that started on a dating app reach the altar?
After chatting on Tinder for a few weeks, they connected over the phone before meeting in person. Things went pretty fast from there and they got married in 2019.
But why do dating apps work when it comes to marriage? Aditya might have a clue.
He says matrimonial sites enable people to look for matches based on caste, community and other affiliations. “Those might work for a lot of people, but I wanted a like-minded person,” he says.
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“Though Tinder and Bumble are seen as apps to find short-term relationships, I always felt they are good at getting people with similar interests in touch with each other. After that it depends on the individuals themselves if they are ready emotionally and mentally to take the relationship forward,” he says.
SINGLES NOT SEEKING 'SHORT-TERM FUN'
Tinder’s survey, which it shared with IndiaToday.In, gives a hint at why hook-ups are getting converted to marriages.
The survey of 1,000 18-25-year-old dating singles across 10 Indian cities reveals even for dating, Indians do not prefer short-term relationships. The survey conducted in April-May 2023 found 45 per cent of young singles in India were looking for a long-term relationship.
According to Tinder's internal data, shared with IndiaToday.In, 'short-term fun' is among the lowest selected (13% all users, 14% Gen Z) ‘relationship goals’ globally.
As thousands register every day to try their luck in finding a partner, these dating apps have come a long way from their early days of casual dating, by embracing some of the customs and ethos of the traditional matrimonial sites. And the in-built filters on these apps are helping individuals hook up with Mr or Ms Right and scripting many “happily ever after” stories.
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“I am getting to hear a lot many cases of people meeting on dating apps and having long, happy relationships,” says Aditya. 
But isn’t the old-school set-up where parents get couples hitched a safer bet?
“Parent-made meetings can go horribly wrong too. Overall, there are more safety checks when your parents are involved and dating apps have a stigma attached to them,” says Aditya.
The outdated stigma of a girl, now the woman of the house, being on a dating app is what made most of the couples request IndiaToday.In for a change in their names to conceal their identity or go with just their first names.
“I told my parents I met Shruti on Facebook. However, Shruti told her parents that we met on a dating app and they were okay with it,” Aditya says with a smile.
DATING APPS GIVE FREEDOM OF CHOICE
Dating apps give freedom to the users to take their time, filter who they want to date based on personality traits and interests, Samarpita Samaddar, India Communications Director of Bumble, tells IndiaToday.In. She says GenZ and Millennials in India are conscious of their dating goals.
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“If someone wants to be in a relationship or get married they can reflect their intentions and preferences on Bumble,” says Samaddar.
The reason why millennials and Gen Zs prefer being on these dating apps is also because as a first step, they are looking for relationships, not marriage. These apps also provide freedom to youngsters as they operate them. When it comes to matrimonial sites, parents become stakeholders, more often than not.
Delhi-based Tara Singh, a 31-year-old professional with an MNC, and Tanishk Patiyal, a government employee, connected on Tinder and will be celebrating their second marriage anniversary in November.
Tara decided to give online dating a try in 2018, as she wanted to explore the possibility of finding a compatible partner without resorting to a traditional matrimonial site. Before meeting Tanishk, she had been out on a few dates, but none of them led to anything meaningful.
Interestingly, Tanishk had joined the dating app for a casual relationship.
However, they connected in November 2018 and both of them discovered that they shared common interests and realised that their core values were aligned.
They got to know each other better and after five months they decided to take their relationship to the next level.
In March 2020, Tara returned home to Patna and introduced Tanishk to her parents, it needed a bit of explaining to both families as they came from different cultural backgrounds.
As they revealed everything to the families, they hid just one fact – where they had met. Tara told her parents that she met Tanishk through a matrimonial site, and not a dating app. It was a “happily ever after” story as the two got married in November 2021.
LINES BETWEEN DATING APP, MATRIMONIAL SITES BLURRING?
Though meant for serious and casual relations, the lines between matrimonial sites and dating apps are blurring, feels Tara.
“It’s really hard to say the difference between the two apps because matrimonial sites are also used for hookups by some. People want to have a casual relationship there too, like in dating apps. I don’t really see a difference between the two,” says Tara.
According to Tinder’s Future of Dating report, shared with IndiaToday.In, personal development, emotional well-being, and clear communication in relationships, which leads to stronger and healthier marriages, are priorities for Gen Z.
The report, based on Tinder’s 10-city survey, says 85 per cent of young singles in India agree that their generation is challenging the traditional relationship goals and dating standards that were passed down from the previous generation.
And the dating apps are helping the singles transcend community lines and geographic distance while playing Cupid.
That’s what happened in the case of Anupam, a social media manager, and Latha Iyer, a senior analyst. They got married in April 2022 and stayed in Delhi’s Vasant Kunj.
Anupam, recalls the story of how he had joined Bumble in late 2019. After a tedious search of about two months, he stumbled across the profile of Latha. However, they couldn’t go on a date due to the pandemic.
“We communicated through the app for a week before transitioning to social media,” said Anupam, adding that they deleted their profiles on the dating app to give their relationship a chance to blossom naturally.
“Latha’s mother knew from the beginning that we had met on the dating app. However, I told my parents a different story, claiming we had met through a mutual friend,” Anupam said.
Anupam feels that society has misconceptions about online dating and this is the exact reason why they hesitate to share the truth with their families in order to avoid being judged.
'FOCUS ON THE RIGHT PERSON, NOT MARRIAGE'
Anupam echoes Pune-based journalist Aditya, saying the freedom to choose a partner without any parental or commitment pressure is why youngsters take to dating apps.
“When it comes to parental involvement, one's choices are somewhat limited. However, while meeting through the dating app, we prioritise our preferences and choices. We carefully scrutinise each other's words and actions,” he says.
Young singles in India know exactly what they’re looking for when considering someone’s profile, Tinder says in response to an IndiaToday.In query.
Anupam also makes it clear how the focus for singles on dating apps is on meeting the right person first.
“While Latha and I had an unspoken understanding that marriage was on the cards when we first met physically after the lockdowns were eased, the level of commitment wasn’t as high as it would have been had parents been involved. When involving parents, there’s less room to exert personal choice, but through dating apps, we were able to prioritise compatibility and values,” says Anupam.
He recalls the beautiful day when Latha and he got married in April last year. “Our wedding incorporated a blend of Tamilian and Kashmiri rituals. We had the traditional Tamilian-style pheras, followed by Kashmiri rituals, creating a unique fusion of cultures,” he says.
Apart from friends and family, Anupam and Latha have a dating app, not a matrimonial site, to thank.
(Names have been changed or just first names used to conceal identity on request)